The journey within is not always roses and hummingbirds. Sometimes it’s messy, it brings up anger, turmoil, pain, it feels isolating at times.
As I sat on a mountain by a waterfall in Peru, my teacher spoke to me through love and understanding and reminded me of attachments, loyalty that is anchoring and controlling, and how the path I’ve danced, trudged and crawled upon is what I’ve asked for. For there comes a time when there is no path and you create it yourself. And you may think, oh how freeing, how joyful, but when you’ve pledged yourself to conditioning, to habits, even to an allyu (community/family), you realize how you haven’t fully walked upon your own two feet. You realize what you’ve been holding onto has been part of the conditioning, and you realize in some ways you really haven’t been self inquiring. And you come to a moment of pure awareness and of letting go. A process that is continual on this path.
If enlightenment is a goal then no attachments are what is required. But I don’t think I ever thought that was my goal. My curiosity has changed to opening myself and be in union of the depth of this inner pull. My soul reminds me of my communion with the unseen. It’s like knowing you can speak another language but not fully getting there yet.
And the answers always seem so simple but it’s the action and embodying that gets in the way.
You can know you need to quit smoking, even after with all the reasonings but that doesn’t mean you’ll stop. It has served you in some way, been an ally, a safe space, a normalcy in chaos.
We are all on a path of some kind. Mine just happens to include the dance in community with the unseen.
With love and blessings,
Susan