Meeting Anger with Compassion
Anger. It's one of the emotions that many of us were taught to avoid - too loud, too disruptive, too unsafe. For some, it was modeled through fear: yelling voices, slammed doors, harsh punishments, or even violence. Understandably, the nervous system learned to associate anger with danger, and so it was buried or bypassed.
But what happens when it rises anyway?
It can catch you off guard - tightness in the chest, heat rising in the belly, clenched fists or tears brimming with words unspoken. The invitation isn’t to suppress or to explode, but to pause and meet the emotion like an old friend you were never properly introduced to.
Anger doesn’t look or feel the same for everyone. There is no “right way” to express it, no one-size-fits-all release. For some, it comes in quiet withdrawal. For others, in tears. Some may feel it as a sharp pulse in the gut or a heaviness in the back. The wisdom of the body is nuanced, and each expression is a messenger - offering insight, healing, and the opportunity to return to self.
In one recent moment of awareness, anger surfaced not as rage but as a quiet, insistent ache. Sitting with it- breathing with it rather than resisting - I was shown an image of a younger version of myself: frustrated, weary, unseen. She wasn’t angry at another person, not truly. She was longing to be met. To be held by the one who had left her behind in the pursuit of peace, approval, survival. Me.
It was then that child’s pose called to me. A shape of surrender, of trust. And in that shape, the tears came- not from helplessness, but from remembrance. The emotion had done its job. Not to destroy, but to illuminate. It wasn’t about fixing something outside, but rather loving what had long been waiting inside.
So many of us carry these younger parts - angry, afraid, confused - waiting not for external validation, but for the reconnection with our own heart. Emotions rise not to derail, but to deliver us back to wholeness. They don’t ask to be battled, only witnessed and honored.
If you're feeling triggered, reactive, or overwhelmed, consider this an invitation: Can you meet your emotion not as a problem to solve, but as a part of you longing to be loved?
Sit with it. Ask it what it needs. Let it speak - not just through words but through breath, posture, sensation. You may find, like I did, that there’s nothing broken. Only something ready to be seen.
May we all learn to honor the full spectrum of our inner world. And when the emotion has moved, when the body has softened, may we offer gratitude - not just for the release, but for the reminder: you are worth showing up for.
With love, always.
Susan