Every now and then, Spirit tells me a story while I fall asleep or while I am in a dream like wake state.
It does not feel like someone is speaking to me or reading something aloud. I seem to enter the story. I am there as it unfolds, watching and experiencing it almost as though I have stepped into someone else’s life for a little while.
This one came as I was falling asleep.
There was a young woman preparing for a surgery that would change her life.
I understood that she was very ill, perhaps with cancer. A rectangular bandage had been taped across the right side of her chest, high enough that I could see its edge near her clavicle.
She had been told the King would pay for her surgery.
Then someone ran the card.
It was denied.
The Queen had stopped the payment.
The young woman was devastated.
She had believed this was settled. She was already carrying the fear of what was happening to her body and what came next. Now, suddenly, the help she had been promised had disappeared.
Another woman saw what had happened.
And instead of remaining quiet, she went to the Queen.
She spoke directly.
She told the Queen that what she believed about this young woman was untrue. The Queen had blamed her for having a relationship with the King. Yet this woman was preparing for another life entirely. She was going to marry. She wanted a family. She had done none of what the Queen had accused her of doing.
Then the woman told the Queen to look closer.
Look within her own circle.
Because somewhere inside herself, the Queen already knew.
She summoned her sister.
I remember the feeling of that room. There was very little left to hide behind.
The Queen spoke plainly, and her sister did too.
Her sister did not deny what had happened.
Instead, she turned toward the Queen’s deepest wound.
She told her she was inadequate. That if she had been enough, the King would never have come to her.
And something became clear.
The Queen banished her sister.
Then she banished the King.
They would leave with their clothing and a few small belongings. Nothing more.
The Queen kept saying they could go live together in her sister’s house.
Each time she said it, there was almost a physical recoil from them.
And beneath all of this, another truth was appearing.
The Queen realized how long she had been compensating for the King.
She wanted him to be strong.
She wanted him to be decisive.
She wanted him to carry authority naturally and to lead well.
He did not.
And rather than fully seeing that, she had spent years trying to make the space around him look as though he did.
She had wanted something so badly that she had helped hold the illusion of it in place.
Later, the Queen went looking for the woman who had spoken to her.
She found her packing.
The woman assumed there would be consequences. People did not confront a Queen and simply continue with their lives as before.
Yet the Queen told her to unpack.
No one had ever spoken to her that way.
She was grateful.
She kept the woman beside her for many years, and from time to time she would seek her out and ask her to speak with that same directness again.
The Queen went on to rule the kingdom herself.
And then, many years later, she quietly disappeared.
One night she simply slipped away.
She went somewhere no one knew her as Queen. No one knew the story of what had happened inside the palace. No one knew what she had ruled, what she had lost, or what it had taken for her to finally see clearly.
She lived a simple life.
And she died an old woman.
When I woke, I kept thinking about the moment the Queen finally saw what had been in front of her all along.
We can want something to be different so deeply that we begin helping it appear different.
We compensate.
We explain.
We fill the spaces another person leaves empty.
We place strength where there is weakness. Certainty where there is hesitation. Loyalty where something inside us already knows better.
And for a while, perhaps the life we have constructed around that wanting holds.
Until something places us directly in front of what is true.
In the story, it was a woman willing to walk into the Queen’s chambers and speak.
She did not create the truth.
She simply stopped helping everyone avoid it.
And once the Queen saw, everything moved very quickly.
What struck me most was that seeing clearly did not destroy her life.
It returned her to it.
She ruled.
She learned to value the person who would tell her the truth.
And eventually, she became free enough to lay the entire identity down.
Perhaps that is part of what Spirit was showing me.
There are moments when life brings us directly in front of something we have been looking around for a very long time.
And sometimes the thing falling away is simply the version we worked so hard to keep alive.
With love and blessings,
Susan
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