“Trust yourself.”

It’s one of the most common pieces of advice given in spiritual spaces, therapy rooms, business coaching, and late night conversations with friends.

And yet for many people, it feels vague. Almost frustrating.

Trust what exactly?
My thoughts?
My emotions?
My impulses?
The voice in my head that changes daily?

If self trust feels elusive, it is not because you are broken. It is usually because no one ever showed you how to build it.

Self trust is not a personality trait.
It is a relationship.
And like any relationship, it grows through lived experience.

Here are the pieces that actually help.

1. Daily grounding practice

Trust does not grow in a scattered nervous system.

If your body feels unsafe, rushed, overstimulated, or disconnected, your inner signals will feel chaotic. You will question everything.

Grounding is not about becoming calm all the time. It is about becoming present in your body.

Simple practices matter:

Standing barefoot on the earth.
Hand on your heart and one on your belly for five slow breaths.
Naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear.

When your body feels here, your inner voice becomes clearer.

You cannot trust what you cannot feel.

2. Work with your nervous system

If you grew up in unpredictability, criticism, or emotional intensity, your body may equate new steps with danger.

So when you try to trust yourself, anxiety floods in.

This is not intuition. It is activation.

Learning the difference between fear and inner knowing is essential.

Fear is urgent, loud, and catastrophic.
Inner knowing is steady, even when it asks you to stretch.

Regulation practices help you tell the difference.

Long exhale breathing.
Slow movement.
Pausing before responding.
Sleeping on decisions when possible.

When your nervous system is regulated, discernment becomes clearer.

3. Small experiments build trust

Most people try to trust themselves in big, life changing decisions.

Should I leave the relationship?
Should I change careers?
Should I move across the country?

That is like trying to lift a hundred pounds without ever building muscle.

Start small.

Notice what you want for lunch.
Notice when you feel tired and let yourself rest.
Notice when something feels slightly off in a conversation.

I remember the first time I trusted that a friend wasn't the right person to share something vulnerable with. My mind said 'but she's your friend!' My body said 'not this, not now.' I honored it. And later realized - that instinct was right. That small trust built something.

Make small choices based on those signals.

Then watch what happens.

Self trust grows through evidence. When you act on your inner knowing and see that you survive, adjust, and even thrive, something rewires inside.

4. Reframe what support looks like

Trusting yourself does not mean doing everything alone.

Many people confuse self trust with isolation.

Sometimes trusting yourself looks like asking for guidance.
Hiring support.
Talking something through with someone who reflects you clearly.

The key is this: you are not outsourcing authority. You are using support as a mirror, not a replacement for your own discernment. The difference: When you outsource authority, you're asking 'what should I do?' When you use support as a mirror, you're asking 'can you help me see what I already sense?'"

Self trust and wise support can coexist.

5. Stay with the next step

Trusting yourself does not require knowing the whole path.

It requires being honest about the next step.

We often overwhelm ourselves by trying to see the entire journey.

Where will this lead?
What if I choose wrong?
What if I regret it five years from now?

Instead ask:

What feels true for the next step?

Self trust grows in increments. One aligned step at a time.

You do not need certainty about the future. You need integrity in the present.

Real tools. Not platitudes.

Self trust is built through daily embodiment, small decisions, regulated nervous systems, and honest reflection.

It is not a mood.
It is not a mantra.
It is not something you either have or do not have.

It is something you practice.

And if it feels hard right now, that does not mean you cannot learn it.

It simply means you are in the middle of building the relationship.

Invitation

If you notice that “trust yourself” feels inspiring but also confusing, begin small.

Ground your body.
Make one small aligned choice today.
Pause before reacting.
Let support reflect you instead of replace you.

You are not trying to become someone new.

You are learning how to stay with yourself.

Start with one minute today. Ground. Breathe. Notice what's true right now. That's enough.

With love and blessings,

Susan