I’d like to tell you a story about a mouse. A very impactful mouse.
This story begins on a beautiful day in January. The wind was present and the sun shining. It was a day full of movement. You know those days when you feel motivated or busy with purpose? That’s how I felt. I had clients arriving the following day so I was in a cleaning mode. Contemplating hiring someone to clean the condo but finding gratitude in it all. I had just finished vacuuming downstairs, ready to tackle the next phase. I drug the heavy vacuum up the stairs and started to vacuum my room . That’s when I saw it. Mouse or rat poops, I wasn’t sure, three pieces on my chair that sits facing the window.
As soon as I saw them, memories of the past rose up. Now my experiences with rats have been something I never enjoyed. Despite them never really doing any harm to me, I felt a fear and hatred towards them. Yes I use that word so you can imagine what was arising within me as I started to figure out how those pieces of poop got to where they were.
Let me back up….. I have seen rats at a distance and had no issues but when they started partying on my balcony in my pervious home that’s when I felt a battle arose. At this time I threw out all thoughts of being "spiritual" and what was the bigger why. Nope, it was me against them. They would come night after night to visit yet they had a hard time understanding they were uninvited. You can imagine how relieved I was when I moved to a new place with no rats so I thought.
Fast forward to the three pieces of rat poop sitting on my chair that faced the beauty from my window. In my quick analysis I found blame and put myself under the role of victim. It’s funny or not how the smallest assumption can send ourselves into a beautiful chaotic spin. My verdict in 30 seconds as I looked at the poop…… I left the window open with no screen and I must have left something out to attract this mouse into my home. By this point I could feel my anxiety start escalating and my body becoming tense.
I immediately vacuumed up this message and tried to continue with my cleaning all whilst looking for a rat or mouse praying I wouldn’t see one. As I continued, my mind, body and emotions skyrocketed out of control. I was in panic mode. I needed help. So I first reached out to my daughter. I thought she was braver then I, she can look around to validate or dismiss my idea of a rat / mouse. Waiting for her reply was like sitting on pins and needles. When she finally replied (heaven forbid she have a life while I'm in turmoil) she was on her way. Thank God I thought, now sitting on my bed in hyper awareness mode searching for any movement from anywhere and deciding where the little creature could be hiding out.
When my daughter finally arrived home which seemed like forever but was maybe within ten minutes I learned she had the same idea I did. WE DON’T LIKE MICE! She looked around a bit despite her feelings and left the next step to my choice.
I reached out to a friend who supported my story and confirmed it must be mouse poop. Okay that was a little better, a mouse and not a rat, somehow allowed me to exhale a tiny bit. The next day she’d send her husband over to inspect. At least he could reassure me, give me direction and maybe a little piece of mind. Great, a plan had been erected. I felt better if that was even possible as I continued in my heightened state.
In the meantime I googled exterminators and thought about my next steps. Who could save me from this? Sleeping that night was pretty much non existent. I kept my light on, I laid down sitting up and tried to sleep but my fears of all the what ifs were out of control. Plus by now my emotions were on board with this story . I was all in.
When I woke from the little sleep I inspected the area. I found three more poops. This time I left them so Pete could have more data to work off of. As I continued to hold out until he could arrive, I ordered some humane traps trying not to think about having to possibly hear it go into the trap and then see the creature as well as take it somewhere to release and so I prepared for my first client to arrive.
I decided to leave the window open again though. Fingers crossed this new ally would show himself the exit. Could it be that easy?
Great news, Pete was in route! Hallelujah!
As soon as he arrived I ushered him up the stairs to the crime scene. I explained my story - here was the poop, it came through the window and here’s some more poop.
Pete looked at it, chatting a little about these creatures. I moved a box so he had a better idea on how to solve my now life or death issue. He looked closer at what I had pointed out and picked one up. All the while he was questioning what he was looking at. Then he smashed a piece in his hand and said this is ash.
Yes, ash. He then proceeded to point out my long matches and the burnt bits were scattered about.
In that moment I could feel myself deflate. I had worked myself up to a point of I thought of no return.
He was so kindly understanding and sympathetic as he left.
My first thought was, can you imagine if I had called an exterminator???? OMG!
I then called my friend and thanked her all while laughing so hard.
This story, somewhere deep from within I made up, with one assumption and my mind and emotions joined the bandwagon and I took off.
So why I do I share this? Well, one it’s funny but also because what I experienced within twenty-four hours, we, you and I, create and extend for years.
As I continued to understand this teaching I can see it all so clear. I was holding onto the I don’t like mice or rats. I had told my daughter a year ago, don’t leave the window open without the screen because something could come in. And I believed I am powerless to circumstances that I can’t control or don’t fully understand. All the makings of a creation or experience to have it all pointed out so I look at myself from a different perspective, how I'm creating and from where in order to change or not.
This is what we do. We interpret life from what we hold onto so we can show ourselves what and how we are creating to change or not. And most of the time we don't even realize what that is.
On a side note, I did ask Spirit if there was a mouse or rat in my condo and was told no. But because I was so sunk into my fears I dismissed this guidance to they are just trying to make me feel better so I could relax. The thing is…. Spirit doesn’t lie, there is no need to. However, when we are spiraling out of control words don’t sometimes help because we are so deep in our emotional fight or flight mode that we aren’t in any space to reason or see with different perspectives. It is this part of us that is invited to open to an exhale, a release.
I offer you my story to invite in an inward journey and to grow your tools as you stand more and more in your own empowerment.
Love and blessings to you beautiful one.